Coming Out of my Shell: New Conditions, New Skills

As a graduate student of the Master of Information Technology program at Middle Georgia State University, I distinctly remember completing the CliftonStrengths® Assessment for the ITEC 5110 Leadership & Strategic Planning course almost two years ago. During this tumultuous time between switching to fully remote work, homeschooling sick children, and enduring a wave of Covid-19 throughout my family, I wondered if the results might still ring true after all the adaptations, immunity, and growth I have experienced over the past few years. Staying home like a shy turtle within my own safe shell, there were not as many chances to socialize, much less grow as a leader.

Back in 2021, the assessment determined my key leadership themes were Connectedness, Strategy, Learner, Achiever, and Command. Of the CliftonStrengths® Domains, two of my Top 5 themes were categorized under Strategic Thinking, making this my area of significant strength. My other domains fell under Relationship Building, Influencing, and Executing. At the time, I considered the assessment accurate and extremely reflective, and indicative of my deeper instincts, motivations, and even my bad habits.

Since I am now on this doctoral journey, I sense the imminent pressure of the Executing theme coming up more frequently in my daily operations. Perhaps this focus on completion and perfection is in direct response to the societal pressure that is either real or perceived on my part. Either way, there is an increasing pressure to perform at a higher level of experience, knowledge, and professional standard to meet doctoral expectations.

For example, I am teased endlessly by my husband and children if I have technical difficulties with connecting devices and using Bluetooth. At work, my colleagues expect me to know the ends and outs of every technical process, although it may not be a part of my daily duties or training. And the reason I am supposed to know how to fix everything is due to my “master of IT” status. Although I have moments of perfect clarity when I have time to think the problem through, the pressure to perform networking miracles on the spot is still a mystery that should be left to those employed and paid to be IT professionals.

In my personal, professional, and educational experiences, I was what most people would describe as the poster child of successful leadership qualities. I led many organizations, directed programs, created and designed meaningful projects, and mentored others with compassion and empathy, and yet my current career is by no means representative of my talent and strengths. While changing careers has led me to opportunities to gain momentum and shine as a leader through research projects and as a professor, I know that I have not realized my full potential as an IT professional. As I looked back at my achievements and awards, and then at the huge leadership gap in my resume, I realized how often I have been hiding my talents and spinning my wheels over the past decade. I am reminded of my father’s favorite quote, “a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for,” and this is precisely the reason that execution is the leadership theme that I most need to improve, especially as I continue in this doctoral program.

In the book, “Atomic Habits” (2018), author James Clear speaks about the negative habits one can develop by assigning family and friends to make you more accountable in your daily habits. In my case, there are certain and specific habits that I will need to adopt so that I can increase my opportunities to lead, achieve, create strategies, and build relationships. I can honestly state that I have been playing it safe with my career by sticking with a safe position, waiting for the perfect opportunity, and avoiding any risks in the process. It is possible that the past two years I have spent embracing a “stay at home” and “remote” lifestyle may have exacerbated and reinforced my need to stay out of the spotlight. Now that the world is beginning to appear safer, at least in some ways, it may be safe to come out of my shell again.

While reflecting on my own leadership style and current hermit-like habits, I recently stumbled across a motivational TED talk by Kiki Ayers, titled, “How to know if you’re meant to be an entrepreneur” and she stated that the key difference in knowing that you should be an entrepreneur, is simply that you try (TEDxTalks, 2021). After hearing the speaker’s depictions of what drove her to give up corporate office culture and embrace becoming her own boss, I am certainly leaning towards the entrepreneurial lifestyle. With a new goal in mind, I will be forcing myself to adapt, grow, and develop greater and more intense leadership skills. So, at the time that I completed the CliftonStrengths® assessment, I was in a different state of progress with differing goals and aspirations, and now the world is opening up to greater educational and career opportunities. I will need to create equally impressive habits to guide me through my next stage of learning and leadership. As I am learning, sometimes you are forced into your shell, and sometimes you are forced to come out!

References

Clear, J. (2018). Chapters 1-3. In Atomic habits: An easy et proven way to build good habits et break bad ones: Tiny changes, remarkable results (pp. 13–55). essay, Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

CliftonStrengths Assessment. (2020, November 21). Retrieved January 23, 2021, from https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/253868/popular-cliftonstrengths-assessment-products.aspx

TEDxTalks. (2021, January 25). How to know if you're meant to be an entrepreneur | Kiki Ayers | TEDxBuckhead. YouTube. Retrieved June 29, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFYBqZnFQ6w